Trajedy of Bullying

When I was growing up as kid, there was the saying, "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt me." I understand the reasoning behind this statement but unfortunately this statement does not hold up as today we have seen a dramatic increase in suicide rates related to bullying. There are many forms of bullying. There is the direct form of ridiculing by a fellow group of ones peers or even physical accosting at the hand of one or several individuals who have for whatever reason singled out a an individual.  Today we see more and more accounts of what has been termed cyber-bullying. Those who choose this method to bully may often feel a sense of anonymity or no sense of regret as they are not directly confronting their victim.  Not only suicide but mass killings in school have been linked to bullying where the person on the receiving end has had a psychological break and they view their only recourse is to to take out as many of their fellow classmates as they can and then end their own life. So what has brought us to the point where classmates see it as an acceptable form of behaviour to collectively bully someone they may or may not know?
Social media such as Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and other sites are meant to be ways that we can stay in touch with family and friends. We share our lives online which can be a cool thing, but has also become a doorway to cyber-bullying. I decided to check out one such case where a young teenager, whom seemingly had everything going for her, decided to take her own life just days before celebrating her 16th birthday. Her name was Kristina Calco.

She chose tend her her own life in December 2005. By all accounts this young lady was on the road to having a very successful life. She was a 4.0 student, was a cheerleader, volunteered, and was a part of several clubs in her High School. She had just gone to a high school dance the night before. She returned home to her waiting mother, who took a picture of her looking so beautiful. Her mother never could have guess that would be the last time that she would see her daughter alive. So what happened. What could have been so wrong in the life of a teenager that seemed to have everything going for her? To understand that we have to take a trip back to when Kristina was 12 1/2 years of age. It is then that the bullying first started.
In the beginning, it was just one young man who for whatever reason chose to single Kristina out. Kristina in one IM stated that "Everyday this boy would tell me that I was ugly and nasty, and then he got other people to say it too. It was torture and a living hell.". In an another IM she stated, " Everyone I've liked has always rejected me for reasons of 'God, you are so ugly' or I'd never go out with you.".  So what had stared with just one individual so became a group of boys who tormented Kristina. When Kristina's parents began asking her classmates about the IMs , they stated that what she had written was true, and that many times they would have to try and console Kristina who would be weeping. So by the time Kristina was in the 9th grade, she began to internalize the insults and began to believe what was being said about her as true. Kristina's suicide note came in the form of a poem. "I knew, I was always the ugly one, Don't say that's a lie because you don't know what some kids have said and done. It hurts to think about how mean some people could be. Even when I started to luck better, they still could see." You can view her story her: http://www.jaredstory.com/kristina.html .
According the http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-and-suicide.html

• Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
• Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University
• A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying
• 10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above
• According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying.

There is no easy answer on how to fix this problem and unfortunately the laws both on a state and federal level are week when it comes to prosecuting deaths related to bullying. Parents should need to stay active in monitoring what is happening to their children online accounts and what is going on in their lives. It can be challenging but parents should try to keep a clear line of communication with their children. Let your child know that they can come to you about anything. Fellow classmates should report bullying even if it turns out to be nothing. Positive peer pressure can be just as effective as the negative peer pressure applied by the bully. In a worst case scenario get in touch with school authorities and local authorities if it is clear that a child is being subjected to bullying.